Nuts and Bolts - Building a Health Community

I am always grateful for my health community and the support it has provided me along my way.  It is many-faceted and that is one of the most important parts of how it functions in my life.  Building a community to support a life change is not as straight forward as picking a program to structure the change.  We all build our communities differently because we need them for different forms of support. This is what mine looks like:

My Partner:
Mike and I feel extremely blessed to have each other as weight loss partners.  We have helped each other stay motivated and frequently remind each other why the end result will be much better than giving in to a moment of weakness.  I often hear his voice in the back of my mind when I am considering making a choice that I probably wouldn't if we were together.

Coffee Shop Employee: "And would you like a pastry with your latte?"
Our Lady of Second Helpings, Internal Dialogue: Hmm... those Rice Crispy Bars are the lowest PointTM treat in the case.  Oh wait I forgot that the new mini treats are under 300 calories.  I wonder how many PointsTM they are? I could look it up...  I did take a walk earlier... I could play some Wii Fit when I get home...  Mike's Voice: "Why don't you get a banana?  The latte will be sweet and if you are still hungry a banana is filling."
Our Lady of Second Helpings: (with a small sigh of renewed resolve) "No thanks just the latte." - I don't really like bananas. If I'm not hungry enough to eat a banana I'm certainly not hungry enough for a pastry.

I haven't asked Mike if his brain works this way. I would guess not.  Men seem to have far less chaos in their brains, luckies. (Mike's editorial note: We do actually have this level of chaos in common.)

Within our household community I feel a great responsibility to feed my family the healthiest way possible.  Even on days that I am worn out and would love to just serve ice cream for dinner, I want to respect Mike's desire to put healthy food in his body.  It is not fair to make a meal that does not honor our goal of proper nutrition.

My Support Group:
My health community is much wider than our family unit.  Our Weight Watcher's meeting provides us with a fantastic community as long as we keep showing up.  We don't always see the same people and in the three and a half years we have been members our Monday night has seen many faces come, go, and come back again.  I enjoy the bonds we are able to build with the other regulars and I also enjoy meeting new people.  We all have stories and ideas to share.  The meeting room is a safe place to get feedback when things haven't gone well or we are stuck in a rut.  The meeting room is also a great place to remember that food issues affect anyone and our common desire to heal can transcend age, income, relationship status, and all the other things that keep us from sharing our stories in the "real world."  Our weekly meeting community has been the source of many great food tips, words of inspiration, and pats on the back for all the small successes we have had along the way.

In the past year we have had a few fun outings and activities with our Weight Watchers meeting friends.  I posted previously about our recipe exchange and how fun it was to trade cooking ideas.  We have also had a few walking events.  Most recently we joined some friends for a New Years Day stroll.    It was a relaxing and energizing way to start the year off on the right foot!

Media:
In a broader sense I tend to consider any person or resource that provides me with positive inspirations and tips a part of my health community.  On-line I look for articles by other people who are striving for the same goals I am.  There are many health and wellness magazines on newsstands that I thumb through from time to time.  In my down time I enjoy television shows like NBC's Biggest Loser or cooking shows that teach healthy recipes.  Not all of the things I read or watch relate directly to my own life but I have found them to be great motivational and inspirational resources.

Extended Social Network:
My friends and family play a role in my health community but in a more nuanced way.  I want everyone to feel as good in their skin as I do but I have had to learn that people need to find their own way, like I did.  Not all of the people in my life are part of my health community just like not all of them were school mates or members of my faith community.  We all love each other where we are at in the moment.

I have found it very important to have a broad community.  Not everyone can be supportive all the time, people and resources come and go.  With so many sources to go to for motivation I always have somewhere to turn when I need a boost or an idea.

He Made it to Goal! A Guest Post by "Mr. Second Helpings"

Dear Readers, I have often mentioned my husband and our mutual weight loss success.  On Monday he weighed in at his Weight Watchers goal weight.  Here is his story, in his own words...

Reflections on my Journey

On Monday (December 26th) I gave myself a great late Christmas present. At our weekly Weight Watcher’s meeting, the scale read 199.6 pounds; I had reached my WW goal! Rose had asked me some time ago if I would write a guest post when I got here. I’m not a blogger, so I’m definitely feeling out of my element writing this.  Here goes...

Regular readers of Our Lady will already know much of our story. Three and a half years ago, Rose and I were both extremely overweight. We didn’t have a healthy lifestyle. Much of our food came from restaurants where we would clean our plates. Snacks would usually be sugary sweets. We didn’t - couldn’t - do much of anything that required physical exertion.

June 2008

Rose had brought up dieting several times, but I was reticent to do anything about it. It’s kind of difficult at this point to understand why. I think the biggest part was low self-esteem; I just wasn’t worth working hard for myself. I had in the past dieted, and even lost significant weight, but I hadn’t kept it off. It seemed like my body just wanted to be fat.

At the same time, we were talking seriously about starting our family. I wanted to have children, but the thought of chasing after a toddler or just playing on the floor was frightening to me.

“Change will only happen when the pain to stay the same is greater than the pain to change.”

I might modify the saying to include “the perceived pain to change.” Occasionally we commit to doing something, discover that it is harder than we thought, and persevere to reach a sense of accomplishment. Frequently we avoid something because we fear it to be more difficult than the reality, and ultimately regret not doing it earlier.

Rose finally said that she was going to join Weight Watchers. She pleaded for me to join her, but would do it without me. I could see that Rose really wanted to do something about her weight and mine. She was in pain, and she needed my support.

I knew that if we did have children, they would need me to be active in their lives.

Finally, I needed to do something, and I didn’t have any better ideas.

It was difficult for me to say yes, but at that point, it would have been even more difficult to say no.

Losing weight was not as difficult as I thought it would be.

Not to say that losing weight was easy. But once I had committed, I discovered that many of the tools I needed were readily available. Also, I didn’t have to change everything all at once.

At about the same time, I had a reassignment to a work location with terrible parking. After I rode the company-provided shuttle bus on the first day, I chose instead to walk the 15-to-20 minutes from my car to my desk in the morning, and again in the afternoon. I didn’t enjoy the walking, but I knew I needed to do it and now that I am back in an office with great parking, I miss it!

July 2009, enjoying an afternoon of hiking and playing outside.

Rose has been an amazing partner along the way. I’m not much of a cook, so I have depended very much on her to plan and prepare healthy meals. I love that she has been adventurous, and have discovered many foods that I would have avoided previously. (Tofu, anyone?) I hope she inspires you to try new things!

As we have progressed, we have needed to up the game to keep going. We have done a handful of 30-day challenges. For example, we both enjoy lattes. We would drink them on a near daily basis, which cost us additional calories and cash. We challenged ourselves to no lattes for 30 days. I made up for it by making a fresh pot of drip before leaving the house. After the month was up, we both broke the habit, and a latte is now an occasional treat - which is even more enjoyable.

A lifetime of healthy living!

Our big secret is that the changes we have made over the past few years are sustainable. They have become new habits, and have redefined “normal” for us. We make a conscious selection of healthy, balanced meals. When we make our own food, we don’t put more on our plate than we need; if we are dining out, we don’t have a compulsion to clean the plate. Physical activities are part of most every day.

Keeping up with our toddler!

Reaching my Weight Watchers goal, this last week in particular, put an underline on the importance of these good habits. In the four days prior to weigh-in, I had been to four different parties. I ate delicious foods, drank beer and wine, and enjoyed a variety of treats! Meanwhile, I was keeping an awareness of eating balanced meals, and stopping when I was full. (Well, maybe one more cookie...) Simply not gaining weight would have been an achievement! Losing weight in such a week is incredible, especially to myself.

Birthday Celebration!

Rose was very puzzled by my subdued reaction to the weigh-in. While this milestone has been met, I do not feel like I am “done”. I still want to lose 20 more pounds for my personal target, and be more muscular as well. I want to keep learning and keep healthy every day for the rest of my life. I want to do this with Rose by my side!

December 2011, down 167 pounds and feeling more confident than ever!

Time to Celebrate

Saturday at midnight we will be ringing in a brand new year but our family is already celebrating.

I am a bit late with this announcement - On Monday my husband weighed in at our Weight Watchers meeting at his goal weight!  Yes, for those playing along at home that was the very next day after Christmas!  It was also three days after his 40th birthday and a long weekend of birthday and holiday parties.  On Monday we also rocked the scale (in a good way) by reaching a collective 302 pounds shed since August of 2008.  These successes on their own are fantastic and together make a monumental way to round out the current year and move into the next with more possibilities than ever!

A few months ago I asked my husband to write a reflection on his weight loss journey once he reached his goal weight.  He is working on collecting his thoughts and I hope to be able to share his post by the end of the week.

It's not too late to check off a few health goals in 2011.  Eat mindfully, find a fun way to work in some activity, and give yourself a pat on the back.  The new year looks bright and we can all hit the ground running!

An Exception to My Rule

When I write a post for this blog I am speaking from the best resource I have, my own experience.  In my last post, Feeding My Mind Changed My Body, I said that our bodies become our own to care for as we mature into adulthood. I want to go back and qualify that concept, the statement does not encompass my current reality.

Six months into our weight loss journey I became pregnant with our son.  The pregnancy began just as I achieved my first fifty pound loss.  A few weeks ago we celebrated our son's second birthday.  I now have the joy of mothering a busy, nursing toddler.  My body has not been mine alone since February 2009 almost 3 years but I have lost 134 pounds, as of Monday (84 pounds since becoming pregnant).

Dining al fresco - Nursing my toddler in Beverly Hills

I don't want to stray very far into the realm of parenting blogs; many others are doing an excellent job in that genre.  I know that many mothers of young children are struggling to find a way to improve their health while fullfling the needs of their family.  It is not an easy task but everyday I make sure to put a reasonable amount of nutritious food in my mouth and get activity in where and when I can.  This commitment allows me to be a more present and active wife and mother than when I was tired and uncomfortable all the time.

In our house, healthy choices are a constant part of our dialogue.  I relish the times my son requests healthy snacks and he happily eats a variety of foods at meal times.  We dance together and in his world video games are most often played by jumping around the room.  I recently adopted an exercise I call, "Shaun Squats." I hold him around the waist then squat down and stand up while lifting him up in front of me. We repeat these while counting to ten together.  He loves it and at a very solid 35 pounds he is helping me tone and build muscle.

Getting excited about the kale and mandarin tree outside Whole Foods.

As a mother my body is not wholly my own, but that is how I choose to be. By choosing this way of living, in a way it still is. So in that case I guess I'm back to my previous point. Be good to your body, for yourself and everyone who counts on you to be your best.

Birthday Smoothies

This morning I was sitting on the floor at a friend's house watching my son run around the room and two things struck me.  First, I am so grateful that I am now physically able to sit on the floor.  For so many years it only took a minute or so before I lost feeling in my legs or had to lean back to take a full breath.  The second thing that struck me, I can't believe I am the mother of a two year old!

Frequently my husband and I are told how great it is that we will be able to share our healthy changes with our son.  I really appreciate the comments but at times it feels like an overwhelming commission.  When it came time to introduce solid foods into my son's diet I wound up doing a lot of soul searching.  I didn't want to do anything that would set him off on the wrong foot with food.  After a few months I relaxed and have been delighted to watch him grow into a toddler who loves to eat a wide variety of foods.  His favorite is fruit.

Saturday morning my son woke up just in time to be wished happy birthday at his time of birth, 7:05 a.m. Shortly after we all piled out of bed to begin a day of birthday activities.  I wanted to make a breakfast that was light and healthy to balance the cupcakes we were planning to eat in the afternoon.  I also wanted to have a breakfast that was quick but still special in honor of the day.

Smoothies are so easy and so many fruits and vegetables can get tossed in to make a vitamin filled treat.  We keep it simple and generally stick to fruits and yogurt but I know many people who add protein powder, leafy greens, and many more ingredients to their smoothies.  I really like to have a smoothie on a day I will have less control over the food available, for instance a day with a party in the middle of the afternoon/evening.  By starting with a breakfast full of fruit I know I have consumed most of my daily servings before the temptations begin.

Early in our relationship I taught my husband a basic method to make smoothies and since then he has been the chief smoothie maker in our house.  I stole a little of his thunder by making them this week but I still let him make the coffee (because I am giving like that!).  Here is how we make them:

Basic Smoothie
1 cup of non-fat plain yogurt
1 banana
1 - 2 cups assorted frozen fruit
add water to thin to desired consistency

This is just a platform to try new flavor combinations.  The frozen fruit helps to make it more thick and creamy but a smoothie can absolutely be made entirely from fresh fruit with some ice tossed in.



With a slice of toast on the side we were all fueled up and ready to go celebrate our newly minted two year old on his day... after a shower.

Healthy Food - Eat it, Wear it, Love it!