He Made it to Goal! A Guest Post by "Mr. Second Helpings"

Dear Readers, I have often mentioned my husband and our mutual weight loss success.  On Monday he weighed in at his Weight Watchers goal weight.  Here is his story, in his own words...

Reflections on my Journey

On Monday (December 26th) I gave myself a great late Christmas present. At our weekly Weight Watcher’s meeting, the scale read 199.6 pounds; I had reached my WW goal! Rose had asked me some time ago if I would write a guest post when I got here. I’m not a blogger, so I’m definitely feeling out of my element writing this.  Here goes...

Regular readers of Our Lady will already know much of our story. Three and a half years ago, Rose and I were both extremely overweight. We didn’t have a healthy lifestyle. Much of our food came from restaurants where we would clean our plates. Snacks would usually be sugary sweets. We didn’t - couldn’t - do much of anything that required physical exertion.

June 2008

Rose had brought up dieting several times, but I was reticent to do anything about it. It’s kind of difficult at this point to understand why. I think the biggest part was low self-esteem; I just wasn’t worth working hard for myself. I had in the past dieted, and even lost significant weight, but I hadn’t kept it off. It seemed like my body just wanted to be fat.

At the same time, we were talking seriously about starting our family. I wanted to have children, but the thought of chasing after a toddler or just playing on the floor was frightening to me.

“Change will only happen when the pain to stay the same is greater than the pain to change.”

I might modify the saying to include “the perceived pain to change.” Occasionally we commit to doing something, discover that it is harder than we thought, and persevere to reach a sense of accomplishment. Frequently we avoid something because we fear it to be more difficult than the reality, and ultimately regret not doing it earlier.

Rose finally said that she was going to join Weight Watchers. She pleaded for me to join her, but would do it without me. I could see that Rose really wanted to do something about her weight and mine. She was in pain, and she needed my support.

I knew that if we did have children, they would need me to be active in their lives.

Finally, I needed to do something, and I didn’t have any better ideas.

It was difficult for me to say yes, but at that point, it would have been even more difficult to say no.

Losing weight was not as difficult as I thought it would be.

Not to say that losing weight was easy. But once I had committed, I discovered that many of the tools I needed were readily available. Also, I didn’t have to change everything all at once.

At about the same time, I had a reassignment to a work location with terrible parking. After I rode the company-provided shuttle bus on the first day, I chose instead to walk the 15-to-20 minutes from my car to my desk in the morning, and again in the afternoon. I didn’t enjoy the walking, but I knew I needed to do it and now that I am back in an office with great parking, I miss it!

July 2009, enjoying an afternoon of hiking and playing outside.

Rose has been an amazing partner along the way. I’m not much of a cook, so I have depended very much on her to plan and prepare healthy meals. I love that she has been adventurous, and have discovered many foods that I would have avoided previously. (Tofu, anyone?) I hope she inspires you to try new things!

As we have progressed, we have needed to up the game to keep going. We have done a handful of 30-day challenges. For example, we both enjoy lattes. We would drink them on a near daily basis, which cost us additional calories and cash. We challenged ourselves to no lattes for 30 days. I made up for it by making a fresh pot of drip before leaving the house. After the month was up, we both broke the habit, and a latte is now an occasional treat - which is even more enjoyable.

A lifetime of healthy living!

Our big secret is that the changes we have made over the past few years are sustainable. They have become new habits, and have redefined “normal” for us. We make a conscious selection of healthy, balanced meals. When we make our own food, we don’t put more on our plate than we need; if we are dining out, we don’t have a compulsion to clean the plate. Physical activities are part of most every day.

Keeping up with our toddler!

Reaching my Weight Watchers goal, this last week in particular, put an underline on the importance of these good habits. In the four days prior to weigh-in, I had been to four different parties. I ate delicious foods, drank beer and wine, and enjoyed a variety of treats! Meanwhile, I was keeping an awareness of eating balanced meals, and stopping when I was full. (Well, maybe one more cookie...) Simply not gaining weight would have been an achievement! Losing weight in such a week is incredible, especially to myself.

Birthday Celebration!

Rose was very puzzled by my subdued reaction to the weigh-in. While this milestone has been met, I do not feel like I am “done”. I still want to lose 20 more pounds for my personal target, and be more muscular as well. I want to keep learning and keep healthy every day for the rest of my life. I want to do this with Rose by my side!

December 2011, down 167 pounds and feeling more confident than ever!

Shoot for the moon if only to land among the stars

I have reached the end of the month and it is time for the official numbers on my goal of losing 8 pounds.

Week 1 - I tracked my eating, got some exercise and when I weighed in I had gained a pound.  Much stomping ensued.  I complained that things were not going the way I wanted and how unfair it was that after a full week of following the 'rules' I was punished with a weight gain.  After about 15 minutes I realized my heart wasn't really in the complaining and focused my attention on the next week.

Week 2 - I tracked a bit better than the first week.  I really paid attention to portion size and was honest with myself about the food going into my mouth.  I took advantage of opportunities to get in some activity and time to play.  I felt really good and things were really clicking.  When I weighed in I was down 1.2 pounds.  Hooray!  Now, a result I can get excited about.

Week 3 - The summer weather was finally heating up the Pacific Northwest and I played outside with my son most days.  We did some gardening, running around, and at the end of the week we went to the mountains to hike with family and have a great time in nature.  I tracked most of the week but over the weekend I just watched my portions and made healthy choices.  I did have one incredible indulgence, a gigantic scoop of lemon meringue pie ice cream in a waffle cone!  I hadn't had real full fat ice cream in a very long time.  It was out of this world a-mazing.  I did share a few licks with my son but most of it was ALL MINE.  The ice cream was the 'reward' at the end of our hike.  I did worry a little that I was more than compensating for any calories burned going up the mountain, but, I still ate it; with relish.  That week I weighed 2.2 pounds less (after the ice cream).

Week 4 - After taking the weekend off of tracking I found it difficult to get back in the swing of faithfully recording what I ate.  I did make sure to measure my portions and focus on healthy choices as well as not eating if I wasn't hungry.  Sunday our family went to a local farmer's market and stocked up on a variety of local organic produce that I look forward to utilizing this week.  After our shopping we stopped into a sandwich shop across the street that is well know in the city.  I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.  We had some terrific sandwiches on homemade baguettes.  They were very substantial and I could only eat half but it felt like a real treat.  Last night when I weighed in I was down another .8 pounds.

So for those of you playing at home we have +1 - 1.2 - 2.2 - .8 for a grand total of -3.2 pounds lost!

I realize this is less than half of my goal to lose 8 pounds in a month, but, as far as I am concerned I shot for the moon and landed in the stars.  Over the course of the last month I have noticed my pants fitting looser, shirts that hugged my body are hanging a bit, and my brain feels much more engaged.  I have been cooking more at home to have a better awareness of what I am eating.  I really enjoy cooking and playing with my food.  Cooking at home also saves us money and not only takes care of dinner but generally covers lunch the next day too.

When I exercise control over my diet I feel better equipped to handle other areas of my life.  I find that I have more energy to plan projects and go on adventures.  I trade in a ho-hum attitude for one of, 'let's see where this day takes us!'

Now I am less than 5 pounds from taking my wedding ring to be resized and ceasing to pay Weight Watchers.  Can I get there by the end of September?  Watch me!

Week 1: We went to a local blueberry farm and picked enough to fill a bucket and to add to our freezer stash of summer berries.

Week 2: We met our friends at the zoo and had a great time watching the animals and running around.

Week 3: A view from the trail while on a day hike in the North Cascades to Lake Dorothy.  This is also the day of the amazing ice cream.

Goal Progress Update

I have no big news to report.  Since my great declaration I have progressed .2 pounds toward my goal.  I will say, however, that in general I feel good.  I have been much more mindful about what is going in my mouth than I have for several months.  I also find myself looking for more ways to be active.  I know all of these tweaks are going to add up to the big payoff that I am looking for.


I can't deny how far I have come.  I rearranged our closet last week and just for kicks I pulled out my wedding dress.  It is now so big on me that I couldn't wrap it tight enough to look fitted.  I just sort of stared at my reflection for awhile.  When I bought it the dress was my favorite of the dresses that came in the store's largest size.  


On weeks when the scale hasn't gone the way I hoped I can still embrace non scale milestones.  I wear smaller sizes, have greater mobility, and I feel so much more comfortable in my skin.  When all is said and done I can not live by the number on the scale, my eyes are on a much bigger prize.  I want to be healthy, live longer, play with my son and squeeze all the juice out of this life I have been given.

Post Vacation Reality Check

Last week we went on a family vacation.  It was a lot of fun relaxing and spending time with my extended family.  I tried to make healthy choices for my meals and get outside and play often.  Still when I stepped on the scale the morning after getting home I was greeted with a higher number than when I left.  AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!  I stomped out of the bathroom, grumbling as I unpacked my suitcase but then I stopped.  Here again is a moment to get stuck or keep moving forward.  So I gained weight.  Part of it was due to eating more salt than I am used to so a few days of rehydrating should help.  I also had allowed myself to get a killer sunburn on my legs and they were very swollen while my body recovered from the abuse.  I had some additional swelling from a killer fall (while jogging on a hiking trail) resulting in a very large and colorful bruise on my hip.  That on top of drinking more alcohol than usual, sampling an array of sweets, and yes I gained some weight.  So it is what it is.  I tried deconstructing my week to see where I fell off the rails but I really feel like I did quite well over all.  My husband and I made sure to supply the house with colorful fruits and veggies for snacking and most days I had as close to my normal breakfast as possible.  In the evenings I tried to eat lightly and have a small amount of dessert if not skip it all together.  I really feel comfortable with the choices I made. 


The first morning of the trip a group of us went outlet shopping.  I had the best time popping in and out of the clothing stores.  My family has been taking this trip every other year for about 18 years.  During that time I have spent many a shopping day picking through the slim selection of double and triple extra large items.  This year I combed the racks for bargains not sizes.  I scored cute clothes left and right and not only were the sizes lacking X's quite a few of them were mediums!  I still have to pinch myself when I think that there are medium sized clothes in my closet.  I almost get a little teary eyed.


The day of the hike was another highlight of the week.  Growing up my parents tried to take us kids hiking several times during the summer.  I would always feel nervous anticipating being winded, tired, hot and generally uncomfortable.  Now when I set out on a hike I feel excited to see new scenery, breath fresh air, and feel my body move the way it is supposed to.  This hike did not disappoint.  The trail was easy and the views were so pretty.  I hiked the first half with my son on my back and didn't even notice the extra weight.  At the turn around point I knew that I could have gone on much further but we were not prepared for more than a few miles.  It is such a liberating feeling to get out in nature and work my body only to finish and feel good instead of pain and discomfort.  


(Well that is actually a little bit of a fib: see at the end of the hike we were on a wide flat dirt path and I asked my sister if she wanted to jog back to the car with me.  We started down the trail and after a short distance I caught my toe on a rock and went down in a spectacular fashion. My shirt and pants were coated in fine dust and my hands and arms were a bit skinned.  I also smacked my left hip really good and could feel it stiffen up right away.  I shook it off and was mostly okay but it was a little jarring and the bruise to my hip was pretty stunning two days later.  I also found out that from a couple hundred feet behind us my dad saw me go down and immediately asked "where are that boy's parents, you shouldn't run on a hiking trail."  Thanks Dad.)


This week my goal is to recover from my vacation injuries and get my body back to normal.  I have no desire to erase my vacation, just to use it as a way to celebrate my success and continue to learn as I move forward.  At the end of the day getting away from it all and being with people I love will always be the most important part of the trip.




Photo Gallery:

Delicious whole grain waffles my dad made.
He asked if they were good enough to make it into the blog.
Yep they sure were!

The craziest, most painful sunburn ever!

A view from the trail along the Deshutes River in central Oregon.

I Forgive Me (and you)

Sometimes we just need to hear it from someone else before we can say it to ourselves.  I forgive you.  Whatever it is that happened that has caused you to stop treating yourself in a healthy way, I forgive you.


The other day in a moment of midday weakness I ate more ice cream than I intended.  It doesn't matter if it was a bite more or a carton more.  After I caught myself and put it away I had a choice to make, do I let this moment derail me for the rest of the day, week or month OR do I forgive my indiscretion and take back the control that I just lost?


I frequently hear people lamenting their ability to loose weight and get healthy.  The common refrain is, "I'll just start again (day of the week)" or "I am waiting until after (life event)."  I have learned that starting again has to be immediate.  If I shrug my shoulders and adopt a 'who cares' attitude I am the one who has to deal with it later.  I do make mistakes - regularly.  Success isn't never failing it is never getting back up and continuing.  When I accept my short comings, take a deep breath, and figure out how to move forward, then, I really feel like a winner.


The afternoon with the ice cream I had to first get involved with a task that would keep both my brain and hands occupied.  I find myself drawn to overeating most often when I am bored or tired.  Those times can lead me to wallowing both emotionally and physically.  Activity is my best cure for wallowing.  If I get up and engage in something I usually perk up and stop fixating on what is in my fridge.  Once I have perked up it is easier to plan the rest of my day around my slip up.  Additionally if I stop and think about it I often haven't messed up that badly.  I also never punish myself by skipping dinner and only eating carrot sticks for the rest of the day.  Self punishment isn't going to help me achieve my long term goals anymore than letting myself wallow.


Don't wait to be good to yourself and don't use your slips as proof that you are incapable of changing your situation.  Take those moments as an opportunity to learn, grow, and be victorious over whatever obstacles you might be facing.  You have what it takes to get where you want to go, so, start now.