He Made it to Goal! A Guest Post by "Mr. Second Helpings"

Dear Readers, I have often mentioned my husband and our mutual weight loss success.  On Monday he weighed in at his Weight Watchers goal weight.  Here is his story, in his own words...

Reflections on my Journey

On Monday (December 26th) I gave myself a great late Christmas present. At our weekly Weight Watcher’s meeting, the scale read 199.6 pounds; I had reached my WW goal! Rose had asked me some time ago if I would write a guest post when I got here. I’m not a blogger, so I’m definitely feeling out of my element writing this.  Here goes...

Regular readers of Our Lady will already know much of our story. Three and a half years ago, Rose and I were both extremely overweight. We didn’t have a healthy lifestyle. Much of our food came from restaurants where we would clean our plates. Snacks would usually be sugary sweets. We didn’t - couldn’t - do much of anything that required physical exertion.

June 2008

Rose had brought up dieting several times, but I was reticent to do anything about it. It’s kind of difficult at this point to understand why. I think the biggest part was low self-esteem; I just wasn’t worth working hard for myself. I had in the past dieted, and even lost significant weight, but I hadn’t kept it off. It seemed like my body just wanted to be fat.

At the same time, we were talking seriously about starting our family. I wanted to have children, but the thought of chasing after a toddler or just playing on the floor was frightening to me.

“Change will only happen when the pain to stay the same is greater than the pain to change.”

I might modify the saying to include “the perceived pain to change.” Occasionally we commit to doing something, discover that it is harder than we thought, and persevere to reach a sense of accomplishment. Frequently we avoid something because we fear it to be more difficult than the reality, and ultimately regret not doing it earlier.

Rose finally said that she was going to join Weight Watchers. She pleaded for me to join her, but would do it without me. I could see that Rose really wanted to do something about her weight and mine. She was in pain, and she needed my support.

I knew that if we did have children, they would need me to be active in their lives.

Finally, I needed to do something, and I didn’t have any better ideas.

It was difficult for me to say yes, but at that point, it would have been even more difficult to say no.

Losing weight was not as difficult as I thought it would be.

Not to say that losing weight was easy. But once I had committed, I discovered that many of the tools I needed were readily available. Also, I didn’t have to change everything all at once.

At about the same time, I had a reassignment to a work location with terrible parking. After I rode the company-provided shuttle bus on the first day, I chose instead to walk the 15-to-20 minutes from my car to my desk in the morning, and again in the afternoon. I didn’t enjoy the walking, but I knew I needed to do it and now that I am back in an office with great parking, I miss it!

July 2009, enjoying an afternoon of hiking and playing outside.

Rose has been an amazing partner along the way. I’m not much of a cook, so I have depended very much on her to plan and prepare healthy meals. I love that she has been adventurous, and have discovered many foods that I would have avoided previously. (Tofu, anyone?) I hope she inspires you to try new things!

As we have progressed, we have needed to up the game to keep going. We have done a handful of 30-day challenges. For example, we both enjoy lattes. We would drink them on a near daily basis, which cost us additional calories and cash. We challenged ourselves to no lattes for 30 days. I made up for it by making a fresh pot of drip before leaving the house. After the month was up, we both broke the habit, and a latte is now an occasional treat - which is even more enjoyable.

A lifetime of healthy living!

Our big secret is that the changes we have made over the past few years are sustainable. They have become new habits, and have redefined “normal” for us. We make a conscious selection of healthy, balanced meals. When we make our own food, we don’t put more on our plate than we need; if we are dining out, we don’t have a compulsion to clean the plate. Physical activities are part of most every day.

Keeping up with our toddler!

Reaching my Weight Watchers goal, this last week in particular, put an underline on the importance of these good habits. In the four days prior to weigh-in, I had been to four different parties. I ate delicious foods, drank beer and wine, and enjoyed a variety of treats! Meanwhile, I was keeping an awareness of eating balanced meals, and stopping when I was full. (Well, maybe one more cookie...) Simply not gaining weight would have been an achievement! Losing weight in such a week is incredible, especially to myself.

Birthday Celebration!

Rose was very puzzled by my subdued reaction to the weigh-in. While this milestone has been met, I do not feel like I am “done”. I still want to lose 20 more pounds for my personal target, and be more muscular as well. I want to keep learning and keep healthy every day for the rest of my life. I want to do this with Rose by my side!

December 2011, down 167 pounds and feeling more confident than ever!

A Bit About The Author

I never was a dieter; maybe I should have been.  I held on to the teaching that dieting was ultimately bad for you and having yo-yoing weight was not a healthy way to live.  I tried the odd diet here and there but mostly used the message as permission to remain obese.  Psychologically, I don't know what buried issues caused me to gain weight or to maintain an unhealthy lifestyle.  I was probably around seven years old when I began edging beyond the curve for my age and height.  Obesity became a part of my identity, first as a fat kid and ultimately a fat person.  

It wasn't until the summer of 2008, that I had enough and I announced to my husband that I was going to join Weight Watchers.  He asked if it was going to become one of those things that we paid for but never used.  Since I didn't know the answer to his question (and really, how could I?), I dropped it for a couple of weeks to let the idea roll around in my head a bit longer.

Finally, I decided that it didn't matter what might happen—I had to do something.  I was sitting there clinically obese, 60 pounds heavier than the day we met 3 1/2 years before.  I was 26 pounds above the weight, 8 years before, I swore I would never be again.  Most importantly I was incredibly uncomfortable in my skin.  When I announced my intention again he said something that proved to be the greatest gift he could give to both of us: "I'll do it with you."

We found the nearest Weight Watchers meeting place and the most convenient time.  The following Monday after work we walked in, with no expectations, to see what the program was all about.  I don't remember the topic of that first meeting.  My nerves turned it all into a rush of white noise.  Afterward we heard the introductory information with all the nuts and bolts.  There was a lot to take in but it seemed straight forward enough.  On the way home we stopped and had a couple of baby-sized burritos and tortilla chips at a local taco place, BUT the next morning we woke up and began following the points program, tracking everything that we ate.

Our lives changed after that.  The weight began falling off as we emerged from our fat coma.  Monday night has become sacred in our house and going to the weekly meeting is now a family event as our toddler goes with us.  To date we have collectively shed over 260 pounds and continue to move toward our goal weights.

I didn't know I had begun a journey until others pointed it out to me.  All I know is that with each small step, life has become vibrant in a way it never was before.  Sometimes I just sit and marvel over all of the small changes, things I never expected when I dreamed about being a healthier person.  Now I can sit on the floor and play with my son without loosing feeling in my legs within the first few minutes, I am able to tie my shoes without feeling like I might pass out, and I can try on clothes off the rack in most stores.  It is such a rush to take an arm load of clothes into a department store dressing room and choose to buy the items I like best not just the couple that fit.  One of my favorite changes is hugging my husband.  When we were at our highest weight we couldn't reach our arms around each other.  Now just to be able to stop and give each other a proper hug is magical.

As this blog continues, I plan to include more of my story, particularly things that happened during the first six months of our new life.  My humble wish is that through sharing how I took things slowly, made mistakes, and learned about myself and food, others will find some hope that change is possible.  It is not about suddenly turning your life upside down and instantly becoming a whole new person.  I have learned how to make different choices one at a time, moment by moment.